Call me lucky or unaware, but in my experience growing up, I never encountered domestic violence whether it was at home or at friend’s houses. I never saw it, and I never heard any stories about it. My parents weren’t very social, but I had lots of different friends, but I never heard about abuse. But, when I asked a friend of mine, he told me story after story after story! I was shocked.
I’ve known the guy for several years, and he never told me about this stuff before. It was astonishing to hear just how often it happened in his community. Wives getting beat up, girlfriends getting kicked in the stomach in public, women with bruises and black eyes.
I want to know if it’s common in your community. Have you or your parents been abused? Have you seen friends get abused?
I know traditional Asian culture is chauvinistic, and some men would devalue their wives and treat them badly. Some immigrants will bring this sort of backward thinking with them to the US. It must be very hard for a kid growing up in the states in a situation of domestic violence. It would be hard to adjust to a new environment when you lacked stability in the home. It would be very lonely I’m sure.
June 18th, 2010 at 9:19 pm
Actually, Asian males suffer from the worst kind of violence. And that’s the “wussy when it comes with women” self-inflicted violence.
It’s sad really..
Stop the violence HERE”
June 22nd, 2010 at 8:56 am
http://animalnewyork.com/2010/06/if-bp-doesnt-kill-all-of-the-whales-asians-will/
June 23rd, 2010 at 3:27 am
“traditional Asian culture is chauvinistic”
Asian girls who date white guys often give this as a reason. BUT that is complete bullshit.
Do you see a lot of middle easten/arab women dating white men? Don’t they come from a traditionally chauvinistic culture.
Asian women blow.
June 29th, 2010 at 5:31 pm
Asian girls may seem demure and subservient when dating. But watch out after you marry them. I know. I’m a Chinese man married to a Chinese woman. One wrong word and I’ll get a verbal lashing worse than any drill sergeants I’ve ever seen in movies.
July 1st, 2010 at 12:14 pm
I’m a Swedish woman engaged to a Chinese man. He was pysically abused by his parents throughout his whole childhood, and now he is abusing me. He has told me about a lot of his friends getting beaten by their parents, but also a lot of his friends weren’t. I guess it’s like any other place on earth. Domestic violence is not allowed, but people do it anyways.
July 2nd, 2010 at 5:31 pm
Domestic violence can be found in all cultures and social classes, it’s definitely not exclusive to Asians. Nor is it uncommon in European countries. The only thing is that Western countries have better laws in dealing with it but still this doesn’t stop people from doing it. Men (or anyone) who abuses their spouse obviously have mental issues, not necessarily a cultural thing.
July 2nd, 2010 at 10:23 pm
Emma, I hope you can get out of the relationship if it is making you unhappy. I for one could never forgive myself if I raised a hand towards a woman. It’s really a shame that many people deal with physical abuse. Everyone deserves someone who respects them, and treats them well.
August 8th, 2010 at 1:29 pm
I had a Chinese girlfriend in the obscure Ivy League school I attended, and her parents beat the crap out of her on a regular basis if she wasn’t working for money or studying. She also had very weak lungs from growing up in Beijing with all that pollution. The U.S. doesn’t have any cities where people have to wear surgical masks just to filter out all the noisome smoke. Good job, PRC.