shush
I read an interesting book on the fear of confrontation, and the effects of what happens when you don’t speak up. I never thought about it, but in the USA, if you don’t speak up, it implies to others that you agree with them. Whether you’re in a group of friends or at work, if you sit there quietly and don’t voice your opinion, it is implied that you agree with the opinions of the outspoken ones. I didn’t really realize this. In my Japanese American upbringing, I somehow learned to be non-confrontational, and I would be quiet even when I disagreed with what was going on. I’ve been this way since childhood, and it’s only recently that I realized what I was doing, and what that implies here in the states. In Japan, I think silence can mean both agreement and disagreement. But in the states, I guess it’s viewed as agreement. So, basically, I have been misunderstood all these years! Shit.
What this means to me is that I have to speak up and assert my differences wherever I am. Not to confront, but to voice my opinion just so people don’t assume I agree with everyone. More often than not I disagree. In Japan, people are very good at sensing what others feel and think. They are almost telepathic. Here in the states, people are so self-centered that they can’t imagine what is going on in other people’s heads. So, in a culture like this, you gotta speak up, SAM.
October 20th, 2009 at 11:27 am
I don’t speak up either. I just sit there, looking down at the ground, with my head and eyes down, and start rocking back and forth like a mental patient.
And if the white people start badgering me, I remind them of Virginia Tech and they all shut up.
HAHAHAHAHAHA!
October 20th, 2009 at 11:28 am
speaking of speaking up, who is that girl in the pic? she’s very cute. I love her.
October 20th, 2009 at 11:48 am
but in all seriousness, this is a complicated thing. there can be a diffrence if a white man speaks up too much versus asian/black man. if minorities do it, they can be viewed as complaining, not a team player. if a white man speaks up, he can be a trailblazer, an individual not conforming to group thinking, one who walks to his own drumbeat, etc. it’s a fine line. you can easily be viewed as a complainer, downer, and negative/cynical. shit, i get this when I’m amongst my own asian brothers/sisters.
and of course, if an asians don’t speak up at all, then we just keep reinforcing the stereotype of us being passive. i guess in our culture, we tend to seek harmony. and we never want to really cause trouble.
Americans tend to be more defiant, more individual, and more apt to exercise their freedom of speech so to speak, go against the grain. Asians totally seek more conformity and unity. this is purely from the way we were raised and totally from our own culture.
I prefer the American way. and that’s the way all asians should be, absolutely. be more vocal, be more vigilant, and be stronger in your convictions, opinions, and ideas. make them respect you. fuck the happy-go-lucky attitude. that won’t get us or anyone anywhere. the system is set up to keep the small man down, so the elitists and the privileged can maintain their higher status and thus, the status quo.
“You have to rage against the dying of the light…”