I’ve heard this so many times from so many people- from both Asians and Whites. It’s quite common for white people to underestimate the age of Asians. Asians have less wrinkles and generally maintain their youthfulness better than white people. This probably has to do with genes as well as diet, exposure to sun, and lifestyle. White people generally think I look mid 20’s but I’m much older than that. I’ve met many white girls who already have wrinkles by the time they are 23. I think one reason is that white girls love to lay out in the sun and we all know sun ages you dramatically over time. Asian girls generally put more make-up to possibly cover up their skin blemishes, wrinkles, and age marks. Asians generally stay thinner than their white counterparts. And Asians have smaller body frames, not as wide hips or thighs, and are not as big-boned. These are all generalizations of course and there are many exceptions. Sun is the biggest enemy for the skin. Granted, the white girls look hot when they’re young, tanned, and fit. But once they reach upper 20’s, it’s game over fellas. Thighs double in size, their arms turn into guns, and their ass? Forget about it. One always look younger if they’re less fat or just more thin. While Asians’ skin maintains its smoothness and color, white people’s skin gets a bit leathery and coarse. I don’t mean to offend anyone…I’m just saying.

So, a few of us awhile back were going back and forth on Gmail talking about this, and I thought I would just post the conversation since it was pretty interesting. I have hidden everyone’s identity. (I realize now though that I was being a cocky SOB. )I wonder what all of you thought about the whole incident, where Miley Cyrus and her friends took a photo while slanting there eyes.  Funny thing is that there’s a deuchbag Asian among them in the middle: probably who took the blunt of the teasing.  I don’t know if I should feel sorry for the guy, or if I should kick him in the face…

SAM A: When white people do the slanted eye thing, does it offend you? i used to get this when i was in grade school. but what the hell? miley cyrus and her freinds are doing it in this photo.

Me (Reflective SAM): There you go again…

SAM B: It’s like painting my face black taking picture with an African American.  It’s racist and ignorant.

SAM C: oofah…don’t let this stuff get to you…it’s a distraction and not worth the time.  Just be awesome…like my Tapioca roll I got from the Asian market tonight.

SAM B: (Original font included.  Notice it’s BOLD!)

The art of cock blocking and SAMs. Why do some SAMs cock block other SAMs? Are we that desperate and jealous? Why do SAMs fight over one girl? Cock blocking should never occur unless someone requests it. But when it occurs behind peoples back, its sneaky, deceptive, and selfish. These are four fundamental rules to cock blocking:

1. Never cock block a friend unless specifically requested by the friend
Respect any successful cock block. If a guy takes away the girl you were talking to, let it go. You may have been working on her most of the night but she chose the other guy so just pack up your cock and move on.
3. Any guy hanging out with a group of girls is the Designated Cock Block
4.When cock blocking, anything goes. Just be careful not to cock block yourself.

For SAMs, rule ..1 is of particular interest. Dont backstab your fellow SAM brother! Were in this all together. Dont be so selfish and greedy. Theres plenty of that raw sushi to go around.

Now there are 3 basic types of cock block. The first is the Requested Cock Block. It occurs when a friend is talking or dancing with someone who they wish to get away from but this person has them trapped. Thats when you come in to help your friend get away from this undesirable person. This most commonly happens when there is one guy hanging out with a group of girls, for he is the Designated Cock Block. But SAMsdont be the DCB DCB is typically the one who all the girls only think of as a friend youll never get laid with these girls. As the D.C.B. it is your job to watch out for your lady friends and scare away any sketchy guys. When your friend gives you the signal that she wants a guy to leave her alone thats your cue to come in and pretend that you are the boyfriend that was just away at the bathroom. Read the rest of this entry »

When I saw this on TV, I had a lot of emotions…  First, I felt insulted and indignant.  How could a white American franchise make teriyaki bowls?  These guys make burgers, tacos, and now teriyaki?  Could it really be any good?  Then, I felt a bit worried.  What about all them mom and pop teriyaki joints that my Korean friends’ families run?  What will happen to their businesses?  Will they be taken down by this Walmart-esque move by Jack in the Crack?  Why don’t they leave them alone?  How will my friends earn allowance?  I really felt for them.

Funny thing is that teriyaki, though originally from Japan, isn’t that popular there. There are no teriyaki shops in Japan.  It’s an American thing.  I’m sure that the first to open the shops were Japanese Americans, but soon most of the shops were opened by Koreans and maybe even Chinese.  Personally, I’ve always thought that syrup that they call sauce is too sweet and they put too much on the rice.   I hate it when my rice is covered in sauce.  I like my rice white, thank you. Read the rest of this entry »

So, awhile back I wrote that it’s not a good idea to get a dog when you’re single.  I noticed a friend of mine did that, and it makes you more homely and it’s harder to meet people.  Further, he got a very big Golden Retriever, and it’s a lot of hard work to care for a dog.   You have to go home after work to feed/walk the dog, so you can’t spontaneously go out on the town.  It’s like having a kid.

However, since then, my girl and I got a dog…a freakin’ cute dog like the one you see above.  A shiba inu, a.k.a. a chickmagnet and ladykiller.  They are small Japanese dogs( 20-30 lbs full grown), and a bit rare in the states.   Girls LOVE’em.  Oh, if I only knew while I was single…  Women make that ‘oh he’s so precious’ look, and come up and ask all these questions.  “What breed is that?  He’s so cute!”  “Is that a miniature Husky?”  “Can I pet him?”  “Will you sleep with me?”  Oh, man…  I went to a Komen Cancer walk, and girls were flippin’ out like they saw the Beatles!   My dog likes people, and being petted, so it’s great.  Sometimes, I’ll just let the leash go long and he’ll go sniff girls up for me. Read the rest of this entry »