I’ve seen this at Greenlake several times:  Two Asian guys walking their dogs together. SAMs, this is very gay. Please stop this. Walking the dog alone is fine. Walking the dog with a girl is even better. But walking the dog with another Asian guy is gay. Especially if the other Asian guy has his dog too. Two Asian guys walking together is fine. But when you add a dog or dogs in the mix, it just looks gay. It gives the appearance of a couple.

This is what one wise man said to me and I wholeheartedly agree. Yeah, Asian guys are smaller in that department. I’ll admit it for myself and for the countless others who deny it. But you see, at the same time, Asian guys can get hard like a rock and stay hard. See, us Asian dudes don’t have the need to take Viagra or Cialis, no no, screw that. We can represent without all that stuff. I know white guys are bigger on average. But ladies, you want some limp dick or you want a hard oriental sausage for breakfast, lunch, and dinner? I’ve heard it from different people, from different sources. We don’t need roids nor do we have to eat Wheaties for breakfast. Asians are ready to go instantaneously and for long periods of time. I know what they say about black guys but seriously, you need a lot of blood to rush into that behemoth schlong for it to get hard and stay hard. Us Asians? Takes 10 seconds top. So SAMs…don’t get down on your small shortcomings. Stand up straight, whip it out, and show everyone how fast and hard it can really get. And as their mouths get wide open because they are amazed and in complete shock and awe, slap it across their face with your tool…but you might need a ladder or get up real close.

You see, Bruce Lee kicked ass. He took no shit from anyone, especially the white people. Bruce is probably the most recognized Asian figure of our time. Besides Pat Morita and William Hung, who else is bigger? He was such a stud. He was really smart, educated, good looking (I’m not gay really, seriously), and kicked ass. Some white people loved him such as Chuck Norris and Steve McQueen. His English was good and he ended up marrying a white chick which is always a huge plus. Especially back in those days when racism was more blatant and prominent. He was the biggest Asian movie star of his time. See, I love him because I know there were many white people who thought this little oriental guy was a fake and weak. But in the end, everytime, he kicked their asses. I love the story of the U.W. football team bullying him (Bruce Lee went to U.W.) and eventually, he kicked their asses, and aftewards, they started to take his Jeet Kune Do classes. Respect! But yeah, we should all respect and honor the dude. He was ahead of his time. Can you believe it? In one scene in “Big Boss”, he had a small love scene with a white girl. This was the 1970’s y’all! It’s too bad he’s dead now because I’m sure he’d be the biggest playa/P.I.M.P. in Hollywood today. And he’d probably be kicking some of the SAMs asses too for being so…SAMish.

So you’ve been reading our posts and may/may not find them interesting or enlightening.  So, tell us what’s really bothering you.  Submit your questions and we’ll answer them.  Send your questions to: singleasianmaleSAM@hotmail.com or respond to this post with a comment and submit your question that way.  We’ll try to answer as many as we can.  And, if you’re having a mental breakdown over something, we’ll go easy on you…promise.

You can hear them from a distance. The mufflers on the Honda Civic making that awful pseudo-powerful noise. Which really only added about 15 horsepower to the already existing 100 HP. Ridiculous! You think you’re cool driving around that Acura Integra. You’ve just spent about 10 grand on fixing up your “sports” car – getting the rims, the pressure gages, the racing seatbelt, the sticker that says “Honda Racing”, ugly spoilers, and getting those blue foglights. If the SAM is in his early 20’s, it’s almost excusable. You’re young and you think you’re cool. Fine. But once you hit 30’s, you need to get a real sports car instead of putting in all that money into a sports-car-wannabe. Get a nice luxurious sports car and you won’t have to fix it up in any way because these cars are fine just the way they are. It’s an Asian stereotype – fixing up Hondas and Acuras. I just think once you get to a certain age, it’s time to grow out of it. You see, all that money you spend on souping up your rice rocket, you could be spending on chicks and prostitutes. Because rice rockets don’t get you laid. I’ve seen those rice rocket car shows where there are those Asian models. You think the SAMs are dating them? I don’t think so. She’s dating the guy who has the Lexus or the Porsche. The thing that really urks me is these guys who drive their rice rockets think they are so cool! I’ve seen them on the road. They’re always speeding and cutting people off, showing off the sheer power of the vehicle. Come on dog! A Porsche 911 Turbo can smoke any rice rocket. Rice rockets don’t make you the man, doesn’t make you more macho or a bad-ass, or even cool. You are not the pimp. You have a small penis though.

I’m not sure who this tool is but you have to check out this site:

http://www.craigfr.com/rice/howtorice.html

It shows you to “rice” your “rocket”.

And check out this article from Asianweek.com:  http://www.asianweek.com/2001_06_22/feature.html

And have you heard of Kaila Yu? She’s the biggest import car model and as you can see, she’s pretty hot. But still not good enough for SAMs because SAMs are too picky…

Check her out at her own site:  http://www.kailayu.com/

SAM with 2 hot import models…too bad they see him as a brother

SAMs all hanging out with other SAMs in the back while the hot girl is alone…hmm…SAMs don’t like girls or something?

When are SAMs gonna be respresented in these ads?  I think as soon as the majority of us are sexier, more confident, and not so nice!  But, you can see that it would not be a very sexy ad…

Read the rest of this entry »

 WTF? Have you seen this shit? I’ve seen Asian “males” have just a shitload of stuffed animals in the back along the rear window. Why on earth! I’ve seen it numerous times on the road. It would have 20+ stuffed animals! Seriously, you need to stop this shit! And why is it always an Asian guy? Asian girl? It’s almost forgiveable but Asian man? Gook please! Get rid of all that shit. Throw it out. It’s not cute. It’s way gay. It’s gaysian.